BLOG: How I learnt my lesson never to support a man

Kenya news, 

See I once dated a guy. By the time I moved out of home, graduated, got my first permanent job, had my first car, started off my business in addition to NGO all in a span of three years, he was still hustling in addition to staying with his parents. On the surface, nothing wrong with which.

All which time, we didn’t date nevertheless we were close, I had friendzoned him😂😂😂😂.

So today we hit an above 3 yrs of knowing each different in addition to one time over coffee he asked to get to know me more. I had my reservations nevertheless decided no problem. I can date him then we can ‘fix’ what’s missing in my man.

not bad PAPERS

A few months down the line we had an honest conversation about why he wasn’t getting a not bad job despite him being a graduate in addition to with not bad papers. He told me he doesn’t know why in addition to he has handed his CV to practically everyone or any organization which he thought could employ him.

I asked for his CV. I went through which in addition to in just a few minutes decided which was bullshit. which actually was. Typos… Redundant info.. Si me in addition to my Eng litt (English Literature) came into play in addition to I packaged which for him. The agreement was hence forth, all his job applications will go through me before he forwards just to make sure everything can be okay.

I asked him how he goes to his interviews in addition to maybe he should show me what he wore the last time he had an interview. He did. His dressing was not matching his qualifications in addition to the jobs he was interviewing for. I couldn’t also victimize him coz (because) he didn’t have much money either. So a few days later, I bought him two pair of shoes, three suits, shirts, belts in addition to everything to match (they cost a fortune, ghai! I didn’t care. I was supporting my man). Talk about holding your man down. 😂😂😂😂

MUM IN HOSPITAL

About two weeks after which, his mum was taken ill in addition to admitted to hosi (hospital) for a week. Since she had known me (his whole family did), in addition to since I was in town in addition to had a car … I took (meals) to the hospital to his mum .. via breakfast, lunch supper etc. When she was released via the hospital, I paid part of the hospital bill, shopped for her in addition to dropped her home. Everyone was thankful. See, I never grew up with my parents in addition to having someone I could call mum melted my heart. She called me daughter. I did everything genuinely after all, which was my mother-in-law. So I thought.

Boyfriend was still trynna (trying to) get a job. I got wind of some employment opportunity at a government agency. Once I had full info, I told him about which. I guess since he had tried for long, he was dejected in addition to reluctant to apply. So I applied for him, all he did was give the photocopies required in addition to to sign. I used his email to deliver soft copies in addition to to apply online then gave courier services the hard copies. I gave him a photocopy to keep. He just left them on my desk at work😂😂😂🤣🤣. A month later, a call came through. He got the job. Like which. (I still have no idea why there was no interview). He was to report to work three days later. which means he had to relocate to Nai (Nairobi). I was based in Kisii. We went to his home in addition to shared the news with his parents over dinner.

Long story. I supported ‘my man’ 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂in moving in addition to through the first three months till he got his salary boom. Then he moved houses 😂😂🤣🤣🤣.

MOVED ON

Communication got strained. He was busy. I understood. Even at night, evening, morning all the time. I gave up chasing him with calls in addition to texts in addition to moved on with life. Painfully.

He called one evening, eight months into his job, in addition to told me he can be coming over the weekend for us to talk. Both of us arrived at the venue in our cars. He came a different person. Guy looking fine. Had bought his first car. Polished like the image I had seen of him when he was struggling, in addition to kept encouraging him. I was broken coz (because) of the strained relationship, nevertheless soo proud of him.

He didn’t even hug me. Nope. After about thirty minutes of awkward directionless conversations to fill up the cold evening, he dropped the bombshell. He can’t see the future with me. 😂😂😂😥😥. His reasons were simple:

1. He had no dreams of marrying 1 mom. He can’t raise a child which can be not his.

2. His church can’t approve of our relationship or wedding coz reason 1 above in addition to am Catholic. So… I will have to convert to SDA.

3. His family, does not approve of our relationship. Yes even his parents.

4. He has already committed himself to someone else in addition to they’d be wedding early the following year in addition to he doesn’t want to break her heart. Swinging some ring on his finger (do men get engagement rings too?)

After saying which, he put 2000/- on the table for our drinks in addition to to fuel my car back. 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 He said he was in a hurry to meet his fiancee. I gave him back the cash. Went to the cashier, paid the bill with my cash in addition to left.

HATED MYSELF

I hated myself. Hated single motherhood in addition to cried endlessly about how which has robbed me my man. I took leave via work For two main weeks. During which time, I didn’t do anything different than cry in addition to cry to sleep. I was broken beyond rock bottom. I don’t know what I did wrong in addition to desperately wanted to hear him out. Just so I could have closure. After assuming my calls, he picked one evening in addition to called me malaya (sex worker), pathetic in addition to not bad for nothing. 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 Wow!!!

which gave me the strength I needed to get over my pity party. Knowing how much I had done for him only due to which to happen, I snapped out of my pain. Took a shower, went out which night, took all the cocktails I wanted to in addition to danced the night away till 4am. The following day, I showed up at work looking like financial stability.

On Friday, which week after so long, he called cried in addition to told me which losing me was the worst mistake of his life in addition to which he can do anything to have me back. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂I don’t know where the fiancee disappeared to. Today his mum called to ‘check’ on me. 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 I don’t know what’s happening which side of the planet nevertheless they clearly need ‘saviour’.

I never date my Ex.

Do I regret doing any of which for someone who later treated me like garbage? No, I’m glad I impacted someone’s life positively. which helped me realize which I can build my man up irrespective of whomever I choose to have, if he has the basics to work with. Can I do the same? Yes, only my husband. in addition to again, when you love someone you wish them the best in addition to go out of your way to help them if you can.

Men are gold diggers too, they only call which holding your man down. I ain’t doing any of which shit. I learnt the hard way.

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BLOG: How I learnt my lesson never to support a man

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